Take all the time you need, Goodbye for Now.. (Updated)

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They said loving someone means fighting for that love whatever it takes. What will happen if someone stops fighting for that love? Will you stop loving too? How ironic that I just shared how happy I am being in love again and yet here I am now  feeling unwell because we needed to take some alone time to figure things out.

He needed some time to be alone and I can't blame him for it. He's hurting because of the feedback and comments of my parents towards him. Yes, I was able to introduce him to my family already but things didn't turn out so well the following day.  It started with a question "Any feedback yet?" and I answered him honestly. I have to admit it, my father sets high standard, a standard that no one could ever met. I don't blame my dad for that, he's just being overprotective. After telling him everything, he was hurt. He took it against him, but still, I didn't regret the fact that I was being honest with him. I apologized and told him despite the negative feedback, that nothing's changed and that I still love him, but it wasn't enough. I know I've hurt him so much and if only I can take away all the pain he felt that day I will. We haven't talk the following day after that conversation over the phone. I started to miss him and wanted so bad to talk to him but my phone was dead and there's no electricity the whole day. I was able to contact him that night, and we talked, and I cried.. That night I was crying so hard that I can't hardly breathe. I asked him if he needs time to think or if he wants me out of his life and then the next thing I knew I was crying already. All of our happy thoughts, our sweet conversations just flashed back in an instant. I can't think of anything that night, I just wanted to cry out loud. I hated him that night, I wanted to asked him what  happened to all the promises he made? but I didn't uttered any word. I fell asleep with tears in my eyes and I woke up feeling so down. My eyes were bulging, and not even a concealer can cover how I feel that day. I went to work wearing an eyeglass on and feeling ugly. That day really sucks! 

I already bid farewell to him but he called me up that day. He wasn't feeling well, he told me that it was karma because he made me cry. We talked, and I began to realized that I'm feeling okay along the way. We had a serious conversation and even laughed again last night like the way we were before. I assumed that we were okay already, but I'm just so assuming. We weren't okay, he told me that he needed some time to think things over and that he want me to reply with his messages and answer his calls anytime he wants. In short, I can't text him and i can't call him unless he do the first move. He said he loves me but it's just that he needed some alone time. Then I realized and figured out, I needed a time as well. Time to think things clearly, to be certain about things, and to figure out what is it I wanted. I love him so much that I want what's best for him even if  it means saying goodbye. 

Goodbye for now and I know we will meet again. Maybe not now, not tomorrow but I know soon enough.. When we're no longer hurting.. When we're brave enough to say "Hi! How are you?".. I will wait for that day that we will be okay and will be able to say "hey! I miss you".. To the question I asked at the beginning of this post, the answer is, we didn't stop loving, we just wanted to stop hurting. To the guy who means so much to me, I hope that if one day we'll both figure things out, whatever happens, it might be for closure or for starting new, I just want you to know that I'm very thankful that you came and have loved me even for a short period of time. I LOVE YOU, GOODBYE.. Until then.. 

---modified this blog as of Oct. 01, 2015--- my real thoughts and just found out recently that he's just making an excuse so F*CK him! it's not goodbye for now it's GOOD BYE forever! You're the worst thing that happened to me. Why would I wait to someone who's a JACKASS! I'm sorry for the words I used, I just needed to burst this out.